mummy_xeen

FTWM Club

23 posts in this topic

Any FTWM here? I gave birth to my baby girl on Jan 2007 and I took 3 months maternity leave (1 month =unpaid) to be/take care of my baby. I started work again in early May and I find it’s really not easy being a FTWM. All my priorities now are only my ger. How do you juggle between your baby and work? Can share your story here…

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i'm not yet one. but have always wondered....

In SG, most families need the support of 2 full time working parents. I can see the trend at my workplace, and also among people i know... this is what i see them do.

1. choose a more baby friendly career. No travelling, lesser overtime needed.

2. cut down on lunch time and leave on the dot, bringing some work home with them. they'll catch up with their work when baby goes to sleep.

3. When the baby is older, send to pre-kinder playschool (day care centres) which are relatively close to their workplace. part education, part play, and food, sleep, bath are taken care of. My cousin mentioned KL has this too, but can be quite costly.

4. Part-time maid to help out if cannot afford full-time maid.

5. alot of mommies at my old workplace BF, and one of the senior managers bought a mini fridge to store her milk at the workplace, and i think the rest of the managers compensate her a bit and also tumpang in put there. They told me they don't go shopping after work, coz priority was to get the fresh milk back as the cooler bag don't last very long :)

my direct boss is a working mother of 3 and i happened to work under her during one of her pregnancies and birth... so she always told me, the most important thing is time management. Otherwise, we will miss out on our kid's growth.

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mummy_xeen,

I'm just back from my maternity leave.. but i din take 3 mths off... just 2 mths... this is my 3rd working day ... found it quite tiring.. especially when i have to pump in the office... i pump 3x : 10am...130pm..430pm... and every pump takes about 30 mins...really not much time left for working.. but i still need to rush the works for my boss lo.. no choice.. so by the time i reach home.. so tired... by 8pm...felt sleepy liao...

now really looking fwd to weekend :P

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Hi,

I'm a FTWM too. Think I already passed by the stage you all experiencing now. I feel so sorry to my gal that I cannot give her more BM after back to work. I was extracting my milk 1 more month after I came back for work. One reason is, I dun have time to do the pumping, once each during working hours, therefore the BM become lesser and lesser. Until no more. :(

I sent my gal to JB (I'm staying and working at SG) and she's been taking care from my SIL. Every weekend I'll go JB to look for my gal and come back. actually quite tiring, but I miss my gal so much. every weekend eaglely go there to see her. The reason why I send her there so far away from us is, I can't get a suitable babysitter here. And, taking care by SIL is better than a stranger. Maybe wait till she qualify for Childcare then will send her to Childcare nearby.

Anyone having the similar experience?

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mowmow,

I truly understand your feeling. Me too cant bear leaving my girl for work but have to be strong loh. But I am thankful that my girl is taken care by my MIL and my MIL lives one street behind my house. So every morning I will send my girl off to my MIL's place before leaving for work. Then in the evening, I will go to my MIL's place for dinner and bring my girl back as I am still breast feeding her.

Once I started working again I realized that the time I ahve with my girl is very very little..at most only 2-3hours as she goes to bed at 10pm. That is also one of the reasons I am taking care of my girl at night. At least through breast feeding, the bonding can be formed.

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Hi

I am not a full time working mum but full time research based student (same like full time working). I can understand how hard a working mum is. Both hubby and i live and work in spore ..we dun have any relative nor close fren here..Worst was my hubby's work travel very very frequent. Me always alone with my baby...life was tuff in the 1st half year and we slowly catching up the lifestyle here......

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Thanks mummy_xeen.. but I already stopped BF v long ler... last time I always take turn with my hb to wake up at night to feed my baby after she stopped BF. But now super lazy liao, till try to wake hb up for baby. haha.. bad hor..

Shell, where you stay? poor gal.. must be kalang-kaput when ur hb not around...

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I am full time working mum too, just free on Sat & Sun.

Everyday, I must wake up 6.30am & depart fr hse to work place 7.30am. It's really tired for last 2 mths, sometimes feel sleepy in office too.

Anyway, I ve get use of it, & my girl is coming to 6 mths old, more easier to take care now.

She sleep 9pm everyday & wake up once to feed around 5am. She is having FM, I ve already gave up BM after 1 mth.

AS a mum, we will feel very tough & tired in the 1st few mths, but try to enjoy it. Time is flies, u will feel memorable for this experience.

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i stay in spore...sigh...worst is now huby found a new job..better offer BUT travel lagi frequent..he ask me whether i can cope if he is not ard 50% of time.....

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Mowmow,

I am FTWMother-to be, due on sept.

I think we have quite similar situation. Me and hb work and stay at SG. He is johorean so we go back JB every wkend. Initially plan to get a baby sitter at jb to take care our baby for full day. We will go back JB on every wednesday and wkend. But now I feel I better get a baby sitter at SG coz I cant bear to meet my baby on weekend only. I scare will miss her every day and night, then no mood to work. Unless we really cant get a good baby sitter here :( then we have no choice will try at JB.

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Hi!! this forum really quite slow and quiet. I'll be FTWM after my maternity till i'm having second baby... :lol:

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Hello! i am checking in as a member of the FTWM club. DD is 7 months old and feeds on breastmilk mostly. Occasionally, she gets some solids but I am wanting to introduce solids to her very slowly ...

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Hiya FTWM,

My DD is now 19 months old. After her birth, I took 3 months' maternity leave (1 month was collection of annual leave + advanced leave) to make sure that I prepare well before going back to work. Her milk supply came from me for 10 months, before mixing with milk powder for 3 months, then weaned at 14 months old.

I'm fortunate to have the support of family members as well as my ex-colleagues (I switched jobs 2 months before DD turned 1) who were new mothers as well. It's important to persevere and stay positive, as it's not easy being FTWMs. When I first returned to work, I barely had 5 hours of sleep everyday because of breastfeeding at night (and middle of the night). But those times will pass, and you will learn to appreciate live more as you see your child grow healthy and well in a good family environment.

Many thanks to my mom who willngly "retired" to take care of my DD too. It makes our lives so much easier, and I can safely leave DD with my mom, knowing that she will get the best loving care.

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Hi all,

The thread seems pretty quiet huh? Anyway, am expecting my 2nd child now and Norelle is coming to 15 mos this 30th. Well, everyday is still a challenge for me but also full of surprises as Norelle is getting more and more cheeky J My MIL is still taking care of Norelle now and I guess same goes to my 2nd child due this Dec.

I don’t know how am I able to cope with 2 kiddos. But I will continue working as I find it’s a sanity to me lor. As much as I love Norelle to bits, I think a little break between us is very important – well to me, at least. Norelle is such an active girl, full of funny and cute antics and she is REALLY a handful to me. So, I don’t think I can stay at home with her 24/7. But then again, I wouldn’t say that I would not take the plunge to be SAHM when the 2nd one arrives.

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Just delivered my princess on 3 June. Need to report back to work by early August.

I have not gotten a babysitter yet and I work full time. Not sure how I am going to cope but I am thankful that my boss is very understanding. He allowed me to come in late during my early pregnancy due to morning sickness.

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Hi all, I'm expecting and I'l give birth to my baby in the end of September. I would definitely become FTWM as no choice for me. If only my husband works then it's really not eough to support the family.. Actually i really hope to become full time mother to learn the way to take care of baby but my job doesn't allow. sigh.. anyone has ideas on what job is more suitable for mothers? is being teacher, bank executive or governmnet servant the best? I really wish i could get back early everyday to see my baby..

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Hi all, I'm been FTWM for few years till now.. my youngest baby in 1 yr old and i'm expecting now too... Feel tiring but no choice have to become FTWM as well. The most tiring period is breastfeeding time. Need to spare extra time to pump milk also..

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Hi! I'm mother of two, age 6 and 5 months plus. As a full time working mum, we hardly find time for ourselves. It is important that we set priorities and don't expect yourself to be a supermum. Try to enjoy every precious moment of bringing up of our kids, then you will feel less stressful. In office, I need to lead and manage two departments and have very tight reporting deadline to meet, yet I still manage to allocate time for expressing breast milk ( ie. I use hand, no pump) 3 times per day. The important thing is you have to seek understanding from you boss and also sacrifice some of your networking time with your colleagues. :P

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hi Grace,

wow! you can use your hands to "pump". i tried so many times also dont know how to hand express, haha. i am FTWM & am expressing at work for my baby too!

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i think u gotta learn fm lactation consultant. it's about massaging technique that will eventually pump the milk out!!!

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hi Grace,

wow! you can use your hands to "pump". i tried so many times also dont know how to hand express, haha. i am FTWM & am expressing at work for my baby too!

Hi Janicelly,

Before you express, you have to massage your breast and stimulate your nipple for short while which will eventually increase the milk flow. Infact it would be very convenient if we know how to use our hand to express. You will pick up the skill through regular practice.

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